GFL – Page 0002
Grouping For Looks is a page-by-page retelling of the Looking For Group saga through the lens of a mirror universe where Cale is a goateed tyrant and Richard is a holy soul trying to set him on a good path.
EXT. FOREST DIRECTLY OUTSIDE OF TOWN – DAY
Richard crouches next to the bunny (small b) he healed, encouraging him to reunite with his grateful family. His wife bunny has tears in her eyes, she can’t believe the miracle she’s witnesses.
Cale stands nearby, offended by the entire scene.
Are you beginning to understand what you are yet?
Cale uses his glove to wipe the blood from his blade.
I don’t care what good you see in me, I am an executioner.
Cale steps into a shadowy patch of the forest, obscuring himself. His pointed ears and angular hair give his silhouette a demonic look, while the layers of his cloak give him a bulky armoured look like… actually, a lot like Bowser. Way more like Bowser than you’d expect an elf could look.
I carve out pure hearts. A lone ruthless and uncaring wolf stalking the land. A pox on the people.
I’m putting points into my diplomacy skill right now, you know that?
Hm? Oh! Descriptions. Sorry, I was still thinking about the whole Bowser thing. It’s wild, right?
Cale steps from the shadows and extends an accusing finger with outstretched thumb, like a cop from a late 90s police action movie holding a pistol.
And as a true scourge I will rid from this world of you, Pure one.
Cale nocks an arrow to his bow, not looking at all like a giant spiked turtle dude.
Beg for mercy!
Please have mercy on me?
Cale lets three arrows fly anyway. Richard raises his arm defensively. One after another, the arrows thunk into a magical yellow bubble Richard conjured.
What the devil‽
Nearby, an old farmer leans by a bush, hand cupped to his ear. A young boy, WILLIE, stands by him holding a pile of pointed sticks. Also, there’s a suspicious goat.
CALE (Off Panel)
The farmer pushes the bush aside raising an eyebrow. Behind him, Willie raises his bushel of pointed sticks. Behind him, the goat rolls his eyes.
RICHARD (Off Panel)
The look on your face tells me good will always triumph over-
The farmer falls dead at Richard’s feet, three wooden shafts jutting from his chest. Through the bush, Willie can be seen running away empty-handed, the goat trotting behind him.
Tears swell in Richard’s eyes. Cale bursts out laughing.
This day is fantastic.
Original: LFG Page 02
THE BIG SALE!
As alluded to all week, the Blind Ferret Shop is reaching new heights of low prices! Here’s the Deluxe Richard Minifig illustrating the scale of this sale:
If you enjoy GFL but wish there was a more convenient way to compare this shattered reflection to the actual continuity, might I suggest grabbing The LFG Omnibus for only $30? While you’re at it, grab one for a friend who is worthy of experiencing Looking For Group themselves.