Mondays & Thursdays

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Tuesdays & Fridays

Non-Playable Character


Tiny Dick Adventures

  • Kaidah

    Aw, the look on her face as she tells him about the zoo…

  • Speedy Marsh

    “Pork, they call it – or bacon. They only call them pigs when they’re alive.”

  • Speedy Marsh

    Sadly for Richard, these animals are paid actors working for PETA. Wearing stage makep, they shoot commercials while faking abuse and neglect. Together, they have bilked animal lovers for hundreds of millions of dollars. What little money they don’t keep for themselves, goes to paying for airtime for half hour long commercials, and to pay for depressing music that’s been proven to cause suicides in humans of all ages. Too bad, Richard.

    (Is PETA really that bad? No, but if they can afford so many long, depressing commercials, they don’t need my money. I’ll donate to the local animal shelter, and take care of my rescued animals, adopted from that shelter. If PETA starts making short commercials, featuring happy rescued animals, set to uplifting music, I might change my mind. But until then, they can kiss my big, fat tail end.)